


I don't know if this will make it out of drafts

by orphan_account



Category: Undertale
Genre: Depression, Hurt/Comfort, more tags later???, uhh idk man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-02 22:53:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10954392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Edge is a pain in the ass, but Sans isn't putting up with him. You know what they say, opposites attract.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> oH nO this made it oUt oF drAftS SAVE YOURSELVES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is this intrigue or obsession

"Get off the damn couch, whelp." Edge glared down at his older sibling, who was sweating nervous bullets.

Papyrus, who was beside the more edgy version of his own brother, spoke up, "Language. And wasn't there first? Why should he move?" He honestly didn't understand his reasoning.

Edge folded his arms with a scowl. "I should get the seat, shouldn't I? He's been sitting on his lazy ass all day while I've been working."

Papyrus frowned. "Language. Again. Also, he was working- maybe not as much as you or me, but he was still doing his job, unlike some people." He turned to give a pointed stare to Sans who sat at the kitchen table. He shrugged, sipping more ketchup.

Edge moved forward and lay a clawed hand on his brother's shoulder. "Maybe so, but I still did far more work than he. Doesn't that mean I deserve it?" The edgy skeleton honestly didn't care about the work he'd done today. It was the work of the past that mattered. If he had to go every day protecting the stupid whelp he owed him at least this. 

Papyrus opened his mouth to argue, but Red was already speaking as he was dragged off the couch, "it's okay Pap. Boss is right about this. Y'know? It's only fair." He stumbled as he was tossed toward the floor, catching himself and grimacing. "It's all good." He was used to it by now anyway. 

The kinder papyrus frowned, "but it's not! Even if I work far harder than Sans, every day, I'm still kind enough to offer him a seat. I understand that we all have different standards."

The short skeleton in the kitchen chuckled. It was bluntly obvious that he was the laziest out of all of them. Sometimes he felt the guilt clawing at him when he watched the three of them working hard cleaning or something. Especially when the swap brothers were here. Stretch probably wouldn't be working if he had the choice, but Berry always prompted him to. And he always complied. The original Papyrus never asked anything of him, so he didn't do anything.

He liked it better this way actually. No one expected anything of him so he had nothing to prove. People looked down on him, both literally and figuratively, giving him the constant advantage of surprise.

At least that's what he told himself.

After a bit he tuned out the bickering. It was usually like this, even with the swap brothers present. The fell skeletons never got along, even with each other. It was a struggle, but they were doing better than when they first arrived. There used to be much more violence than what was currently displayed.

When he had first saw the obvious scars and even more obvious crack through Red's skull, he had contemplated shortcutting it to grillby's and pretending to not exist. He was glad he didn't, he supposed. The guy was an ass when his Boss wasn't present, but was still a valuable friend- even if he drank the dreaded mustard. Disgusting.

Sans sighed as he heard a bang. That was probably the table being flipped again. He had fixed it at least three times this week. It was only Tuesday. Oh boy.  
Then there was another bang... was Edge breaking it on purpose or what? Did a fight break out?

Sans internally groaned and pushed himself from the kitchen table, moving to stand in the doorway to the living room where the fighting supposedly was. Sure enough... the three skeletons were locked in combat, most of the negative intent pouring from Edge. Well... all the intent was pouring from edge. 

He simply stood and watched. Papyrus was holding his own splendidly well, especially for fighting with a universe made for fighting. Though he didn't really seem to be fighting back.

After a few moments of chaotic cursing and pleading Sans had the basic situation figured out. Papyrus was probably disciplining Edge too much in one go, causing a fight to break out; Red, not happy at being fought over, tried to break it up, caused Edge to get even more mad. Mister tall dark and evil probably hit his older brother in his rage, causing Papyrus to jump to attention, pissing Edge off which pissed Pap off which made Red guilty and scared.

Is this what problem children are like? He chuckled at the idea. Honestly though nothing about this was funny. 

Sans watched the fighting for a few more moments. It wasn't usually /this/ bad. Papyrus usually had the courtesy to shove them all outside where they could truly unleash their chaos. Today was an off day from the beginning though, what with the fell brothers staying as a sleep over.

Sans had slept at grillby's that night.

There was no way he was going to get dragged into any midnight shenanigans, especially with how much sleep he lost already.

But now... he was starting to get a little worried. Edge's intent was sparking out of control and he seemed to be going into a pretty big rage. Someone competent needed to step in... Red wasn't really doing much more than blocking most of his Boss's attacks. That wouldn't be enough to stop him. The only way-

Sans mind blanked for a moment as a deadly sharp bone pierced through Papyrus' battle body. In an instant Edge was thrown against a wall, cracking it as Sans casually walked to his brother's side.

"...You okay, bro?" He asked as if he'd just dropped his ice cream.

Papyrus stared at him in surprise. "You shouldn't have thrown him, Sans. I was handling things just f-"

"WHAT THE HELL." Edge was striding toward him, his ridiculous heels clicking loudly like a judge's hammer. "YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING PAY FOR TH-"

It took a lot for Sans to loose his patience. More than a lot... this kind of thing had to be going on for months. His main trait was patience for fucks sake. Finally, after almost an entire year of this happening almost every day, he dragged Edge to the floor, level with him, and brought his hand across the culprit's cheek.

The crack of bone on bone seemed to echo about the room. 

Sans's eye was flashing brilliant colors of anger. "...you took it too far. This has gone on long enough don't you think? I don't /care/ what's fair." He gestured toward a gaping Red who promptly snapped his mouth shut. "What I /do/ care about is that you stop treating your own brother like the dirt under your stupid heels. You care about him, don't you? ...get your life together. You're the only one causing these fights. You should be happy we've let you stay here this long. Think about that."

And with that Sans shortcutted to his lab. As soon as he was there though, he thought over what he'd said. The more he went over his monologue... the less he liked it.

Why would he say those things? He just lost it. As soon as bone pierced armor it was like his mind shattered and all he cared about was setting things straight. The things he said too... they were hurtful and stupid. They wouldn't solve anything. Whatever. It's not like he was useful for anything anyway.

He felt the familiar trickle of cold and his thoughts went quiet. He was probably going into that stupid haze. There were things, simple things he could do to bring himself out of it, but... he liked it. Call him a masochist, but he couldn't help it. Or perhaps it was some sort of self punishment? Whatever it was it didn't matter.

Sans laid his head down on the table, staring blankly at the covered up machine. He was pretty useless. He said stupid things and did stupid things... he was an idiot. He just made the entire situation with Edge worse.

The thing about Edge was that he held himself on such a high horse that trying to take him off it would only make him raise himself higher.  
Edge would think things like "they're the ones that are wrong" or "they're all just jealous of me". He knew from example. Both from Complimenting Papyrus and from...

Whatever.

He would just... take a nap. none of this really mattered anyway. Life would move on whether he intervened or not.

\---

Edge, for the first time in a long time, was genuinely surprised. He didn't expect such... aggressive behavior from anyone other than himself in a weak universe like this. He expected it least of all from Sans. The lazy ass never did anything at all. After that however, it seemed it was time to reevaluate the situation. 

Call it intrigue or even obsession if you like, but he was determined. 

This was a puzzle he was delighted to solve. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh so if you were fool enough to like this fic (I'm soRrY plEaSe dOn'T leAvE mE) just know updates are gonna take a long ass time so if you want faster updates... leave a comment and nag me otherwise it'll never happen
> 
> haha
> 
> ahahahaha
> 
> when will the government stop these sins


	2. how did this chapter get here so fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edge be nice  
> be NICE  
> B E N I C E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was grinning like a fool at the comments I don't know why you guys are reading this

Sans woke slowly, his body stiff and aching from not moving for so long. He had fallen asleep in his lab, and had fallen off his chair sometime into the night. Even if he was awake now however, that didn't mean he had the motivation to get up.

When did he ever have motivation for anything? It was usually from some sort of outside force that he did anything at all. He only went to his station when Papyrus physically carried him there. He only ate when his magic turned sour and begged for him to eat  _anything at all._ He only-

Sans was distracted from his thoughts when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Pulling it out... he sighed. It was Papyrus. He _had_  left suddenly after his outburst with Edge. There was probably another fight and he wasn't even there to stop it.

He answered the insistent buzzing with a monotone drawl, "hello?"

"SANS!" The relief was obvious in Papyrus's voice, but soon enough it turned to anger, "where _were_  you? I- we looked everywhere for you!"

He sighed, "sorry Pap. I just went to take a walk."

His younger sibling didn't sound any less irritated, "you don't go for walks, Sans."

He couldn't say anything to this. It was a lame excuse on his part.

"Come home. Right now."

Sans sighed, gathering his magic for a shortcut. "Okay." In the blink of an eye he teleported to their front door; his lesson had already been learned- don't teleport onto a couch that already has people on it.

He steeled himself for some sort of punishment from his brother, but as soon as he opened the door he was wrapped in at least three different pairs of arms while some more jittery arms folded and unfolded themselves nearby. The last pair of arms looked almost like they could strangle him.

"Hey Edge." He addressed the hostile arms.

Tall dark and evil merely left the room without a word.

"What happened to him?" Sans asked as if last night hadn't even happened. He tried to get out of the hold of... Blue who was being held by Papyrus who was trapped in a one armed hug by Stretch.

Papyrus frowned, "he's just upset. Edge had been living that way for a long time so when you told him off... I don't know if it struck anything in him but..."

Stretch piped in with a lazy grin, "yup. Ya really did a number on him. I couldn't have told him better myself. And that slap! Wish I was there to see it." He watched Sans closely, almost searching for something, "I didn't think you had it in you to do something as blunt and brash as that."

Sans shrugged, "eh... just got caught up in the moment I guess."

Blue patted him on the back, still trying not to drop him, "you did well, Sans! Even if you shouldn't have left afterwards. That was bad. You can't avoid your problems!"

Papyrus nodded sagely, "Blue is right- even though you're still in _a lot_ of trouble. Which is why- Stretch could you go bring Edge back in here?" The skeleton in question vanished from their sight with a soft _pop_  "Anyway, we all thought it would be best to leave you two alone for awhile. I expect you to apologize for striking him." Papyrus finally released them to the floor. "Edge will also apologize, but for different reasons. Like his language and outburst. He will speak with Red later as well."

The scarred skeleton in question glared at the floor, shuffling nervously.

"You got it bro." Sans nodded, heading toward the couch. "Wake me when you get the prick back here."

"Sans, he's not a prick. Even though he can be very violent and rude." Blue chided while Papyrus nodded in wise agreement.

"I got him." Stretch called, pulling an annoyed looking Edge by the hand.

"You can let go, you know. I'm being nice enough to not-" Edge's threat was cut off by a pair of equally threatening stares, courtesy of Papyrus and Blue. After an annoyed huff, Edge simply snapped his hand away silently. "Keep your damn hands to yourself..." he muttered, growling. The argument probably only stopped there because the prick didn't think the argument was worth it. The swap brothers were and always would be the touch-y feel-y brothers.

Sans's chest tightened the closer they got until Edge loomed silently over him, eyes flaring. It didn't help his nerves when everyone else left the room either. Nor did it help when Edge sat right next to him, stiff as a bone and as still as a statue.

What was he supposed to say? With no time to prepare whatsoever and no time to actually think through Edge's possible reactions, wouldn't this turn out just as bad as last night? Honestly Papyrus just went and did things on his own. When that was paired up with Blue... well things could turn into disasters pretty quickly.

Not that he would ever blame either of them. They only had everyone's best interests at heart, no matter the situation.

Edge's voice pulled him from his thoughts, "So... are we just going to sit here all day or are we going to do something useful?" He sounded bored to death.

Sans shrugged, "I'm down for a nap." He didn't think the uptight skeleton would agree, but he couldn't think of anything better to say. 

Edge finally moved, looking over at him and searching his face. Sans stared back unwavering. This went on for awhile until the dark version of his brother spoke once more, "Your brother is quite the pest."

Sans felt a stab of irritation, but kept his voice level, "he's just trying to help."

"His help isn't exactly appreciated. Someone should tell him that."

Sans had honestly thought this talk would go better than where it was headed. What was he thinking? "I don't think it's your place to tell him something like that. Especially with how blunt you can be."

Edge merely shrugged, crossing his legs, "if I don't do it, who will? Definitely not your lazy ass." His dumb high heeled boot tapped against the carpet. 

Sans sighed, going silent. He thought over the words said and tried a different approach. "Look. I don't like you any more than you like me. Why don't we just get this over with and move on with our lives? How about a truce?" He wondered if Edge's behavior would change at all over this.  
\---  
Edge was surprised once more. He thought that insulting Sans's brother would get a rise out of him, as it did during last nights battle, but he remained cool headed and monotone just like always. He was disappointed that he was offered a truce so soon. How could he turn this around? He had to find a way to rub salt in his wounds. He wanted to open him up and see what made him tick.

"No." The first step was refusing the truce. "You're not even in any position to make offers and demands to _me_. If anything you should be begging me for mercy and forgiveness. All of you." The second thing was breaking that infinite bowl of patience. He wasn't an idiot. He'd seen Sans's magic color. "You're all nothing but fools, especially your brother. Who does he think he is? He's an idiot for pushing people together. Especially a dumb ass like you and someone as great as me."

He watched Sans's expression closely, delighted as it turned sour before replying, "well sorry to disappoint. I didn't think you were _that_  empty headed."

Ah... there was that snap he missed so much. "Empty headed? Hardly. I think that title would go to your brother as well as a few more... colorful ones."

Sans glared, "do you have something against Papyrus? Your insulting him quite a bit."

Edge couldn't keep the smirk off his face any longer, "oh? I thought I made it quite obvious. I despise Papyrus for many reasons." He had to play this close to the vest if he wanted to set him off. "He's a thief. Stealing the birth name of the Great and Terrible Papyrus himself. He's so set on being good that he doesn't wake up from his fool's reality to see the danger he's in. He doesn't even-"

"Stop."

"-think about the consequences of-"

" _Stop_."

"-his own actions, nor-"

Edge was finally silenced as a blue attack grasped his soul and his body went cold. He felt a delighted shiver run up his spine at the look on Sans' face.

He looked almost livid.

Edge slipped into his most self glorifying expression, "did I... _offend_  you?"

Sans chuckled, "no. You can't offend _me_. It's just that when someone of your stupidity can't stop talking trash about people he doesn't even _know_  I tend to lose my temper. You, Edge, are a genius in all the stupidest ways. I thought you could fix your own behavior, but it seems you need to learn the hard way that your actions have consequences."

Sans stood from the couch, Edge's eyes trained on him, "it looks like nobody else will do it, so It'll have to be me."

Unmarked phalanges wrapped themselves into Edge's armor and with a flash of cyan magic, they found themselves among trickling streams and whispering echoes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhhh if anyone has any plot ideas hmu @staylragno on tumblr ahahaha sorry guys I didn't plan ahead, but hey now you can dictate this story to your every whim and desire! :'D


	3. fuck nuggets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hurr hurr time for steamy lessons with sans
> 
> more like lessons where everything is made of pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HHRRMMMM if I put my laptop away I might never work on this again... honestly it's a gamble huh. I'll try and stick with it

Sans knew this wouldn't fix anything. He knew and yet he couldn't stand for the things Edge said about his brother. He wouldn't do this to defend himself or even to teach a lesson- he would defend Papyrus.

...is what he told himself. When he looked deep inside himself he knew that he wanted to hurt Edge like he'd been hurt. That didn't mean he wasn't doing this for Papyrus, it just meant that he was just as selfish as he'd always been. 

No matter his motives however, this punishment was long overdue. Sans summoned a cage of bones around them, preparing for their battle. Why was he even doing this? It wouldn't solve anything. In fact it was probably what Edge was after in the first place. That was why all he focused on was insulting his brother. Sans had walked right into his trap and was now going so far as to bump up the stakes. 

Wouldn't it be better to stop before it was too late? His sweeping of the new battlefield slid to a slow stop and everything was frozen in place. 

"...You're not backing out on my now, are you, whelp? I'm sure your brother would be-"

Edge was cut off as bones sped straight for his skull and rib cage. 

Sans caught his soul in blue and spoke quietly, "don't talk like you know what you're getting into."

Edge was thrown to the side, but he seemed to be expecting his throws after so much of it. He planted his feet and rolled with the blows, blocking any bone attacks with his own. They created a system together, a pattern of taunts and jabs that only made Sans angrier. 

He hated losing his temper. 

Sans wasn't himself anymore. He was cold and emotionless as he threw bits of dust about the battlefield with Edge. He was surprised the noise they were making didn't attract curious onlookers. Or maybe they were repelling. A monsters' intent could work in different ways. 

"It took you long enough, Sans!" Edge called out to him from across their scarred landscape. "I was starting to think I'd imagined what I'd seen in you that night!" 

Sans threw another flurry of bones, dodging with more effort than he'd like to admit, "I don't care what you see in me. I'm here to teach you that more matters than just yourself!" Sans almost tripped when he felt a sudden buzz from his pocket. From the look of Edge a moment later, it seemed he'd gotten a phone call as well. 

They glared tensely at each other a few silent moment, both waiting for the other to pull something dirty while they were on the phone. Finally Sans reached into his pocket, answering just before it went to voicemail. "Hello?" He watched Edge pull out his own phone as well, snapping at the person on the other end.

"OH MY STARS SANS THIS NEEDS TO STOP WHERE ARE YOU?"

Sans realized he'd probably taken his chances with Papyrus too far. After disappearing twice in a row, the second time with Edge, the very same skeleton he  _wasn't_ supposed to be fighting with, he was probably in big trouble. "Uh, sorry Pap. We went out for something to eat." 

There was a few moments of muffled talking on the other end before Papyrus sighed, "no you didn't, Sans. Red's on the line with Edge and he said you went to talk things out at waterfall."

Damn that skeleton. Edge probably  _wanted_ everyone to come running just to cause more drama. Even if they didn't he pushed a wall between him and his brother. Whether he meant to or not, he was going to pay the price for all he's done. 

"Alright. But Pap... just let me talk to him. I think we might be getting somewhere." Sans glared icily at Edge as he said this. The glare was mutual, though one was more feral than the other. 

"Are you sure...?" Papyrus just sounded disappointed in him. Their trust had been cracked. 

"Yeah bro. I got this." 

He hung up. 

Sans didn't have any more patience, not for Edge anyway. He flung bones toward him, not caring if he interrupted a phone call. He was tired of putting up with him and his insults. This was  _his_ home and  _his_ brother and this cruel freak came in and ruined everything. he wouldn't stand aside and let it happen. Especially not when his brother was finally happy. 

The air hissed as dual skulls roared in a crescendo before firing toward Edge. One of them caught his arm, draining a good chunk of his HP. With all that extra LOVE he has, it would be even easier to win the fight this way. 

He would show Edge the power of a judge.

\---

Edge was starting to wonder whether he loved surprises or hated them. He liked it when Sans had snapped at him, as well as the sudden offering of a truce. The skeleton before him did things that barely seemed to tie to his emotions at all.

Except for right now. 

The anger in his eyes was obvious. It was quiet and menacing, slowly consuming everything before him. 

What happened when Sans finally lost his patience? Well the answer was within the roaring beasts he summoned without hesitance. Edge had gotten his answer so he should stop before this got out of hand. He knew better than anyone how easy it was to get caught up in a fight. To forget your surroundings and simply give in to the intent and rush of magic. 

Most thought he was too prideful to back down from fights, but the truth of the matter was that he was just keeping his good name. Since they were alone here however, he knew when to stop. He wasn't done chipping away at the skeleton before him. 

With a final stomp of his heel he skidded to a stop and clenched his jaw shut as the sting of Sans's last attacks tore through him. The short skeleton looked surprised for a moment before it was wiped away. "What are you doing?"

Edge chuckled, brushing off the pain, "I've decided to accept your truce after all." 

"...Are you kidding me?" Sans didn't move from his fighting stance. 

Edge merely shrugged, grinning as he pivoted and walked away. Dramatic and awe inspiring. His favorite type of exit. "You should be grateful!" He called over his shoulder. He didn't know whether or not that would set the other off again, but apparently not as he wasn't being torn to shreds again. He chuckled. He hadn't had this much fun in awhile. 

-that night-

"I just don't understand how Sans does it. He fades completely into the background everywhere he goes, yet he still holds so much attention to him." Edge sighed, glaring at his brother who sat across the room from him. It was almost midnight, but neither could sleep. Sans was off somewhere, probably undergoing punishment for disappearing twice in less than twenty four hours. 

"Uh, dunno, Boss. He just has his own way of doin' things." Red shrugged, glancing nervously at the floor. 

Edge rolled his eyes,  _"Please_ if he wasn't interesting I wouldn't be so... intrigued." He hummed thoughtfully. "Why do I find him so unique?"

Red gave him a look.

"Do you have something to say,  _whelp?_ Spit it out." Edge didn't have time for this charade. 

The short skeleton grimaced, "I think you like Sans because he doesn't put up with you. Everyone else just asks you to stop, but never fights back. You, uh... like people with spunk." 

Edge rolled his eyes again at Red's wording, but still thought over what was actually being said. That was true, wasn't it? He was obsessed over the new and unique- and that meant Sans. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo guys pap is a monster with real emotion too haha


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans tries to deal with tall dark and angles while undergoing withdraw symptoms.

Sans groaned dramatically, face buried in the table while his brother dutifully ignored him. It turned out that consequences included hiding his ketchup stash, much to his own horror. 

"COME ON SANS. IT'S NOT THAT BAD." Papyrus said after a few more groans. "YOU NEED TO LEARN THAT IT'S NOT OKAY TO DISAPPEAR WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING. IF YOU'RE GOING TO GO SOMEWHERE, MAKE SURE IT WON'T CAUSE A PANIC." 

Sans didn't say anything. He knew he'd been stupid and that he probably deserved this- especially since he was complaining so much. Honestly why did anyone even put up with him? He just took up space and wasted time; picking fights and whining like a baby bones. He wanted to die. 

"SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN." 

Sans didn't move as Edge sat down next to him. He wanted to get up and leave, to avoid doing anything to spark another fight, but if he left as soon as Edge got here his brother would know they were still on bad terms and most likely try to meddle. 

"WHAT? NO GOOD MORNING? i'M HURT." Edge hummed, obviously sarcastic. 

Sans finally picked up his head, glaring at Edge through the corner of his eye. "What are you doing?" He muttered. 

"...Talking to you, obviously." Edge muttered back, resting his head in his chin with a smirk. 

"Ha. So funny." Sans rolled his eyes. It was annoying how easily Edge could get a rise out of him. The fact that they had both resorted to sarcasm was even more annoying. The fact that Sans had barely ever used sarcasm before Edge just made him want to use it more. 

So irritating. 

"Moody trash bag." Edge commented, staring openly at Sans with his trademark smirk. 

Sans stared back as well, unblinking, "Name calling? Really?"

Sharp phalanges tapped against Edge's chin in amusement, "Who said anything about name calling? It was a compliment." 

Sans glared, still not breaking the stare. "Well then, I'm sure you'd love one in return. Annoying piece of..." He finally looked away, glancing at his brother, who was turned away, before flipping Edge off with a plastic grin. He wouldn't curse anywhere near his brother, even for this irritating little shit. 

Edge merely repeated the gesture before standing and moving toward Papyrus, offering to help with spaghetti. 

Sans glared after them before shortcutting to his bed, immediately turning to the wall after Blue's surprised yelp. Sharing rooms sucked. 

"Sans! Ah... that's still weird... ANYWAY! Don't just go teleporting all around the house! It's rude!" Blue chastised. 

Sans shrugged, not moving. He was glad he got to keep his own name, instead of having to adjust to calling someone else by his own name. "Sorry Blue." 

His counterpart was silent for a moment before his shuffled footsteps left the room. Sans just kept staring at the wall. He wanted to get up and do something else, but he didn't want to move. Or even leave the room at that. He couldn't  _stand_ Edge. He just went around doing whatever he wanted without any thought to anyone else. It was so  _irritating_ and  _annoying_ and he just wanted to  _teach him a lesson._

Sans barely ever had these sort of thoughts; that alone was making him angry. He wouldn't put up with Edge's shenanigans any longer. If no one else would do anything- actually  _do something_ about it, then he would. In the only way he knew how. 

 

\--Edge's POV--

 

Edge glared at Red who was, once again, sitting in his seat at the table. 

"But Boss, you uh, you know there's no, there's no  _assigned seats_ at a dinner table..." Red said, holding up his hands in surrender. 

Edge rolled his eyes, "Well, now there is. So move your ass!" He grabbed Red and hauled him off the chair, thankful Papyrus and Blue weren't currently present. That didn't mean he would get away with it, however.

Both his own and Red's jaws dropped for a moment as obnoxious farting filled the kitchen. Edge let go of Red's arm, the farting immediately subsiding into a tense quiet. 

"Boss, I didn't- I didn't put that there I just-"

"RED YOU'RE ABOUT TO-" Edge cut himself off at the feeling of something hitting the back of his skull. Slowly he turned, seeing a second whoopee cushion on the floor, and the third in the hand of no one other than Sans. 

"Heya. That must've been the one I lost.  _Thanks for finding it for me."_ He gave Edge a pointed look.

Edge could've burst out laughing if he weren't such a good actor.  _This_ was how Sans retaliated? What was going on in his head? Using stupid pranks to stop the Great and Terrible Papyrus? Pathetic! This would hardly do anything to stop him! He smirked, picking up the whoopee cushion near his feet and shredding it down the middle. "Oh dear... I'd return it, but it seems my hand has slipped." 

Edge's smirk grew, seeing the irritation on Sans' face. "Hey pal. You break it you buy it." 

"Sorry, I seem to have misplaced my wallet." Edge chuckled as an idea formed beautifully in his mind. 

"You have a job. Make more." 

Edge let his grin slip into a frown, something more soft and less guarded. It twitched with excitement once, but he let his actor's mind take hold. "It's just... I am sorry for ripping it, but..." Sans rolled his eyes, "I can't buy you a new one because I'm... saving for something. I just... You know what?" He moved toward Sans, getting down on one knee to be closer to his height. "I'm just going to come out and say it! Sans. Will you go out with me?" 

Wait... was he actually blushing? 

_Wait... was the Great and Terrible Papyrus actually blushing?_

Even Red was blushing! Was his acting that good?

"Are you kidding me? Edge you're an idiot." Sans snatched the ripped whoopee cushion out of his hands and teleported, presumably to his shared room. 

Edge stood, letting his guarded expression wrap around his features once more. 

...that was slightly disappointing. Did he actually want to date Sans? 

Well. This was a surprising turn of events. When did these feelings present themselves? 

**Author's Note:**

> uh tell me if this needs more tags


End file.
